Eh. Close Enough.

My grandparents grew up in the Great Depression.

Cutting the cake at their anniversary celebration. Photo credit: Adriane Heins

They also were married for 65 years before my grandpa passed away last fall.

Photo Credit: Adriane Heins

My grandpa Heins was a hoot. A hard-worker. A resourceful farmer. A strong, Christian husband, father and grandfather.

Then again, my Grandma Heins is a hoot, too. She used to say, "Grandpa's got the brains, and I've got the body."

Anyways, my grandparents grew up in the Great Depression. Obviously this helped frame who they were and dictated how they did certain things.

For example, when my grandma sent over cookies to our house, she always sent them in a cereal box and bag. You know, wash out the bag in which the cereal came and cut out the back of the cereal box to create a holder.

This also carried through to her baking. You cook with what you do and don't have on hand. If you wanted to make oatmeal raisin cookies but had no oatmeal, then you'd just make raisin cookies. Or if you had an excess of watermelons that were overly juicy, then you'd make watermelon juice. (Don't try that one, guys. Just don't.)

She hit quite a few winners though. And when she would, my mom would ask her, "Can I have that recipe?"

My grandma would give her this look:

Photo credit: Adriane Heins

And then she'd just laugh. She didn't use recipes. She grew up in the Great Depression, you know. And well, honestly, she's just a darn good cook.

So I've always strived to cook like her. Little bit of this, little bit of that. And there you have a masterpiece.

Although in my case, it usually ends in a catastrophe.

Like yesterday for example. Joel and I were getting ready to leave for a friend's wedding in town and I wanted coffee for the drive. So I turn on the Keurig, grab my to-go coffee mug, throw in a K-Cup and stick my mug under spout.

Next thing I know, I'm yelling, "JOEL! Oh dear. This is bad. Very, very bad. Oh dear."

I didn't take off the lid of my to-go mug. We now have coffee-stained carpet. It's kind of like tea-stained paper..right?

Anyway, I went a little baking crazy this weekend.

Falling apart muffins are like deformed M&Ms. You just gotta eat 'em.

Actually, we just had 3 overripe bananas.So, first I made these chocolate chip banana muffins for Joel. Because without fail, every time I make them, after Joel takes the first bite he yells, "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE." And then sinks back into the couch (which he wishes was a recliner), closes his eyes, and has a quiet moment for the muffin. I think this means he doesn't hate them.

Also. Speaking of bananas.

So two bananas were used for the above mentioned muffins. We still had one banana left, and I had just bought some craisins and whole wheat flour at the store. So I googled "Whole Wheat Banana Craisin Muffins."

I found "Whole Wheat Carrot-Raisin Muffins" instead. And I thought, "Eh. Close enough."

My first mistake was the carrots.

 It calls for 1 cup carrots, shredded and peeled. Does that mean you measure out 1 cup carrot sticks and then shred them? Or does it mean you have to shred a full cup of carrots?!

I decided to shred 1/2 cup. And I thought, "Eh. Close enough."

Then you mix together the dry ingredients.

 It calls for:

• 2 cups whole wheat flour
• I used 1 cup whole wheat flour, and 1 measuring cup with part whole wheat and part all-purpose flour.
• 1 teaspoon pumpkin spice
• I used 2 mounding teaspoons.
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• And then I also added baking powder because if you're going to put something in the oven, it ought to rise. Except I don't remember how much I put in anymore.
• And I also added cinnamon because...it's cinnamon.

Then, you mix together the wet ingredients.

 It calls for:

• 1/2 cup vanilla yogurt
• I just used one of those cute little containers.
• 1/4 cup oil
• 1/3 cup honey
• I used 1/4 cup for two reasons. 1) I can't imagine wasting that much honey! and 2) My 1/4 cup was already dirty. Ain't nobody got time to wash more dishes. Close enough, right?
• 1 tsp vanilla
• I used however much was left in the bottle. Hopefully this means I'll remember to add it to the grocery list.
• 2 tablespoons orange juice
• We have apple juice. We used apple juice.

Next, add the carrots.

It was at this point that I realized the recipe didn't call for bananas at all. AKA the whole reason I was making this second round of muffins in the first place.

Sigh. 

I decided to just Grandma Heins it and call it close enough.

Finally, mix it all together and add in your craisins (or raisins). The recipe calls for 1/2 cup. I don't have a clue how much I added.

And be sure to stir it with the same knife you used to measure off the flour. Because ain't nobody got time to put an extra knife in the dishwasher.

Bake those bad boys at 375 for 18 minutes or so.

It makes 12 tasty, tasty muffins.

Ahem. It did make 12, I promise.

I told you they were tasty.

Muffin-Cupcake Adventures

When it comes to alcohol, I have two loves.

Cold and refreshing.

My husband, my brother, my future sister-in-law and I went to Lucky Bucket Brewing Co. last weekend for some family bonding time.

I remember the first time I went to Lucky Bucket back in February with Mander.

From the looks of it, she was missing my brother quite a bit.

I also remember that awkward-agonizing-secret-keeping time before they were dating when I knew that she liked him, and that he liked her, and that she talked to me about him, and he talked to me about her, but she didn't know that he talked to me about her, and he didn't know that she talked to me about him, and all I ever did was nod, smile and shove my mouth full of crackers.

And find this hilarious card I wanted her to send him.

Anyway. When it comes to alcohol, there are two things I love.

Coconut rum and a good, dark beer.

Especially when they are in cupcakes.

This one likes cupcakes, too.

Truth be told. We were out of whipping cream. (False. We weren't out of whipping cream. I just never buy it. Or have it on hand. So you can't be out of something you don't normally have. You just don't have it.)

So. We didn't have whipping cream. Supposedly you can mix together melted butter and milk as a substitute.

You can't.

Well, you can. Maybe.

But we can't.

But. We can soak raisins in rum.

And improvise when the recently married woman lives in a tiny kitchen that only has room for a 6-cup muffin tin. And other adorable little things like ramekins and pie tins. Because everything is cuter when it's tiny.

Does anyone know if I can leave my pizza stone in the oven when I bake? Because I do.

Check out the recipe below for some spiked cupcakes. Keep reading for the next cupcake adventure.

My husband calls muffins, muffins. He also calls cupcakes, muffins. So for his sake, the next baking adventure is actually a muffin adventure.

He was the head chef this go-around.

But instead of reading me the directions like Martha Stewart would, he turned the recipe into a literacy wonder. True Joel-style.

Actually. If it was true Joel-style, he would be singing the directions to the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean and rhyming thing like all-purpose flour with Whiskey Sour. Except when he rhymes it's clever and witty and makes you shake your head. And when I rhyme, I have to stop mid-sentence and pull out my rhyming dictionary.

I don't remember how he told the Stout Cupcakes story (because I was laughing too hard and trying to snap pictures before the camera died), but I do remember that it started:

"In the beginning was flour, and the flour was with the wheat, and the wheat-flour was with the soda and it baked."

 Joel also claims that any food that looks too good to eat, shouldn't be eaten. Because it doesn't taste good.

I'm not sure if that's true. But if it is. And if the converse of that statement is true....

Then theses cupcakes muffins will be the best sensation your mouth has ever experienced.

Wow. That looks even grosser than I remember it. I don't know why the brown sugar looks like a hamburger patty.



Anyway, this is how Martha's Stout Cupcakes turned out:

And this is hour the Kaldahl's Stout Muffins turned out:

You could call it a #MarthaStewartFail but that probably has a different definition than what we're using here.

But despite their gnarly appearance, their flavor was something to savor. (Confession: I had to Google words that rhyme with flavor. Marriage is a good thing. Make sure your spouse has strengths where you have weaknesses.)

And they tasted like molasses cookies before we doused them in beer icing.

So have some friends, neighbors or family over, and serve them some muffins!

Coconut Rum Raisin Cupcakes

Makes 36 Cupcakes

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups butter, room temperature

3 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup dark rum (we used spiced rum)

1 cup raisins

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

2 3/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons packed light-brown sugar

6 large eggs, room temperature (mine were straight from the fridge - oops)

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

3/4 cup heavy cream (just buy the real stuff)

1 cup sweetened flaked coconut

Rum-Caramel Glaze (Recipe follows)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325. Brush standard muffin tins with butter; dust with flour, tapping out excess. In a bowl, pour rum over raisins, and let soak. In another bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt.

2. With an electric mixer on medium-high speed, cream butter and brown sugar until pale and fluffy. Add eggs, one at at time, beating until each is incorporated, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Beat in vanilla. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture in three batches, alternating with two additions of heavy cream, and beating until combined after each. Mix in raisin mixture and coconut.

3. Divide batter evenly among prepared cups, filling each three-quarters full. Bake, rotating tins halfway through, until a cake tester inserted in center comes out clean, about 30 minutes. Transfer tins to wire racks to cool 20 minutes. Run a small offset spatula or knife around edges; turn out cupcakes onto racks and let cool completely. Cupcakes can be stored up to 3 days at room temperature in airtight containers.

4. To serve, set cupcakes on dessert plates, and spoon glaze over each. Alternatively, finish by placing cupcakes on a wire rack set over a baking sheet; spoon glaze over cupcakes, and let set. Cupcakes are best eaten the day the are glazed; keep at room temperature until ready to serve.

Rum-Caramel Glaze

* I didn't do this at all. I just mixed together coconut rum and powdered sugar.

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup water

1/4 cup dark rum

1/4 cup heavy cream

Heat sugar and the water in a heavy saucepan over medium, stirring occasionally, until sugar is dissolved and syrup is clear. Stop stirring, and cook until syrup comes to a boil, washing down sides of pan with a wet pastry brush to prevent crystals from forming. Continue to boil, gently swirling occasionally to color evenly, until mixture is medium amber. Remove from heat. Carefully stir in rum and cream (the mixture will spatter) with a wooden spoon until smooth. Let cool, stirring occasionally until thickened, about 5 to 10 minutes.

Stout Cupcakes Muffins

Makes 28 Muffins

Ingredients:

3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon plus 1/8 teaspoon baking soda

1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder

1 1/4 teaspoons salt

1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

1 1/4 teaspoons freshly grated nutmeg (I didn't use this because my mom has successfully scared me into never using nutmeg in anything)

1 1/4 cups vegetable oil

1 1/4 cups unsulfured molasses

1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoons packed light-brown sugar (make sure you use that extra tablespoon)

2 large whole eggs plus 1 egg yolk

1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon finely grated orange zest (yeah. didn't have that either)

10 ounces stout beer, such as Guinness (or Lucky Bucket's Lager), poured and settled

Stout Glaze (recipe follows)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. Whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt cinnamon, and nutmeg.

2. With an electric mixer on medium-low speed, beat oil, molasses, brown sugar, whole eggs, yolk, zest and stout until combined. Reduce speed to low. Gradually add flour mixture, beating until just combined.

3. Divide batter evenly among lined cups, filling each three-quarters full. Bake, rotating tins halfway through, until a cake tester inserted in centers comes out clean, about 20 minutes. Turn out cupcakes onto wire racks to cool completely. Cupcakes can be stored overnight at room temperature, or frozen up to 2 months, in airtight containers.

4. To finish, place cupcakes on a wire rack set over a baking sheet; spoon glaze over cupcakes, and let set. Cupcakes are best eaten the day they are glazed; keep at room temperature until ready to serve.

Stout Glaze

2 cups confectioner's sugar, sifted

1/4 cup stout bear, poured and settled

Whisk together ingredients until combined. Use immediately.

10 in 10

My sister-in-law challenged me (and much more lovely bloggers than me) to a 10 in 10 challenge. Technically, it's a 10 pictures in 10 hours challenge. My husband reminded me the 10 hour part. Not 10 days, he said.

Wellllllllllllll.

How about 10 pictures, 8 of which were taken within 12 hours, and the other 2 snuck in while no one was watching me take a picture of a printer at work.

I'm already the wild, young whippersnapper in my office so I best not do much else to turn heads my direction.

Typical day in the life of Sarah:

6-7 a.m. - COFFEE

Dave Ramsey writes about "10 Things Americans Waste Money On" and #10 is daily coffee trips. While I would love to have a hazelnut and cinnamon latte from Scooters every morning on my way to work, I'd rather take that weekly $20 and put it towards an OU football game. Or, maybe just snacks for watching the game on TV.

I'm no barista, but I'm working on the lattes. Give me several more months and I'll know how to work this fantastic milk frother we got for our wedding.

7-8 a.m. - Travel to work

I'm always thankful when the tracks are train-less.

Hey, not all the pictures can be winners.

8-9 a.m. - Hello!

I absolutely relish in my name plate. Since I started at Union Bank while I was still in college, I was in the office only 2 or 3 days per week. So for my first two months here, everyone still called my space "the cubicle across from Carly's desk." Granted, that phrase always followed, "I brought in cupcakes and I put them on..." So, it worked. But then it became my desk and I was officially hired full-time as the HR/Wellness Assistant. But I was still name-plate-less until month four. So now that I have it, I smile at it every morning I come to work.

Yes, I smile at metal. Or plastic. Or whatever it is.

9-10 a.m. - Taking my own advice

Part of my job includes writing publications for UBT employees. Since I'm promoting hydration and smart snacking, I figured I should follow suit. 

Fun fact: Drinking from a straw makes you drink approximately 3.6X more water in a day than by its other sipping counterparts.

I just made that up. But straws are the bomb.com

10-11 a.m. - Er'day.

I don't know what it is. Or why it is. But I am always the one to try and print something when the printer is out of paper. 

I bet you wish you were me.

11 a.m. - 12 p.m. - The feeding.

Don't mind my 80s phone.

One of the perks of my job is free lunch. Mondays are my absolute favorite - Sandwich day! Lunch is available 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. And we almost always go right at 10:58 a.m.

At first I used to try to eat that bad boy without cutting it in half. Not my best moment ever.

Not my best moment ever.

Okay, so then I took a break from pictures until 5 p.m. She did it first though. She broke the rules first. It's the sister-in-law you placed here that broke the rules. 

Just call me Adam. And her Eve. Except that I'm not a man. And we aren't eating apples. But you get the point.

If I wouldn't have taken a break, you would have seen spreadsheet after spreadsheet. And probably my co-worker trying to do burpees and jump squats in heels. Which, looking back on it, probably would have been rather entertaining. Next time.

5-6 p.m. - Boot Camp

Twice per week I lead a Boot Camp class after work for UBT employees. I'm not sure if this has helped me make friends at work, or if it's just made my co-workers scared of me and pray for rain on Boot Camp days.

Someone asked me if I I would sit on a dunk tank after the session is over. Uhhh...

6-7 p.m. - Dinna time

I warned them when I accepted this challenge that the world was soon going to be keenly aware of how much food I eat in a day. So here you have it - Pepperoni Stuffed Chicken. Mind you, it was tasty.

7-9 p.m. - Not writing thank you's

This should be a picture of us writing thank you cards.

It's not.

It's us playing Super Nintendo.

But c'mon, it's Super Mario World.

It's the story of my childhood.

It's the ...

Actually, it's not the story of my childhood. I think I only ever watched my brothers play video games. I was never good enough. Or old enough. Or boy enough. 

I won't go into the time they locked me out of the room to play Legos by themselves.

I won't go there.

Nope, I won't.

I will say that the retaliating, "FINE! I'll go play Barbies by myself and you can't play with me" never worked. Never ever. 

Anyway. Now that I'm married and older, I play Super Nintendo. Because it makes sense that way.

So there you have it. 10 in 10. No, 10 in 12. Er, 8 in 12 and 2 in 10.

There's a Right Way

I'm pretty big on traditions.

I mean, traditions are my thing.

Let's just say that I'm the Tradition Police in the family.

Especially when it comes to falling asleep at the table after Thanksgiving dinner, Black Friday shopping full of Target, Kohls and Panera Cinnamon Crunch Bagels with hazlenut cream cheese, making gingerbread houses with my mom after too much wine, taking goofy pictures with my brothers in front of the Christmas tree, and eating corn with spaghetti.

Speaking of corn... Well, wait a minute.

Another crucial tradition is in the Muddy Buddies.

Make fun of me all you want for calling them Muddy Buddies. I've heard it all. But I will say that by calling them Muddy Buddies, I never once have accidentally received dog food from a Secret Santa in high school when I asked for puppy chow.

Just sayin'.

But the tradition here is in the preparation.

First off, you need the Muddy Buddy spoon. From what I know of its usage in the Heins household, it has only ever been used for Muddy Buddies. (Granted, from what I remember of my mom's cooking, it consisted of Muddy Buddies, chocolate chip cookies and hot dog toasties so I don't know what else she would use it for. Just kidding. Love you, mom!). She graciously passed along the spoon to me so I could make Muddy Buddies. No other spoon works. Trust me, I've never tried.

And the last and important step is using a zip-loc bag to move that powdered sugar all around those peanut-butter-slathered, chocolate-chip-drenched Chex cereal. Growing up, I always got to be the shaker of the bag. Being the shaker of the bag is a powerful position. You hold the power to drown the Buddies in powdered sugar. You hold the moral responsibility to drown the Buddies in powdered sugar.

My husband took this responsibility like a champ.

To reiterate my earlier point - There is a right way to do things. And a wrong way. And the traditional way is always. the. right. way. I don't care if it doesn't make sense. It makes sense that it's done the way it's done. 

Anyways. Speaking of corn.

Usually I think that FiestaWare makes food pretty. 

In this case, I think the corn makes the FiestaWare pretty.

My husband said to me, "That ear of corn looks earily similar to the other one."

Thanks to my uncle for the best sweet corn "on this side of Davis Creek" as my dad would say, and thanks to my Maid-of-Honor for the cutest corn holders on this side of corn-growing Nebraska.

Corn on the cob is not an exception in this Tradition Police's book. Oh no, that's far from the truth. There's an art to how one cooks, prepares and eats corn on the cob. I can hear my mom's voice in my head, "Put water in a pot and set it on the stove. Once it comes to a boil, add the corn and cook them for 10 minutes." Simple as that.

As for the eating - without fail, the first corn on the cob of the season we would eat in the Heins household, we would have the inevitable and lively argument..er, discussion on the correct way to eat the corn. Do you eat it typewriter style? Or going round and round and round which doesn't even have a name and forces you to go slower and give your fingers a workout? Exactly.

And lastly, the corn must be dripping in butter and salt. Obviously the most effective method is to unwrap a stick of butter, place it on a butter dish, roll your corn in the butter, and then shake the salt shaker so vigorously that your sitting on salt for the rest of the summer. Obviously.

So you can see why I was lamenting to my husband the other day when I realized we didn't have a butter dish and couldn't eat corn on the cob. (Kinda like how you can't make Muddy Buddies without the spoon, ya know.) 

He told me we could eat it another way. And since marriage is about sacrificing, leaving and cleaving, and trusting. I gave it a try.

And although it wasn't quite the same as the Heins buttering method, it worked. And we'll still be sitting in salt the rest of the summer, and we'll bond together over an hour of flossing later tonight.

How do you eat your corn on the cob?

Muddy Buddies

Ingredients:
9 cups Chex cereal
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup butter
1 teaspoon vanilla
LOTSA powdered sugar
1 Muddy Buddy spoon

Directions:

1. Pour cereal in a large bowl and set aside.
2. In a bowl, combine chocolate chips, peanut butter and butter. Microwave on high 1 - 1 1/2 minutes until smooth. Stir in vanilla.
3. Pour chocolate over cereal and stir with Muddy Buddy spoon.
4. Pour cereal in large zip-loc bag with powdered sugar and shake.
5. Cool on waxed paper.

Perfect Corn on the Cob

Ingredients:
Ears of corn
Water
1 stick of butter
1 butter dish
Salt shaker that shakes out salt like nobody's business

Directions:

1. Pour water into a pot and set on stove.
2. Bring to a boil, add corn and set timer for 10 minutes. Take out of water immediately.
3. Roll corn in the stick of butter on the butter dish and shake on that salt (or, unwrap a stick of butter and spread it over your corn. either way, still shake on that salt.)

Cheese, Jelly and Tassels

I'm new to blogging. I'm so new to blogging that sometimes I write one blog post and then wait a solid two months before blogging again (and by sometimes I mean always). That's what the new bloggers do, I hear. The new bloggers also continue their comeback blog with a detailed rendition of the happenings that have kept them from sitting down and writing (or cooking anything worth blogging), even though we all know they momentarily chose to forget forgot they started a blog in the first place and promised raving, hilarious and witty recipe reviews. Think: political promises.

Since I'm a new blogger and have vowed to fit this role with all its rights and responsibilities, I'll fill you in on some all the details of my life the past two months.

I graduated college.

My parents = Awesome.

With some pretty amazing friends. The type of friends for which you thank God. The type of friends that get together for a BBQ before graduation. The type of friends that at that BBQ pray before the meal.  The type of friends that pray in thankfulness for the last 4 years, the blessings and growth that have come through the friendships, and for the guidance in future years to fill our Christian vocation.

Don't mind Spencer sneezing into his tassel in the background.

I got the distinct feeling that my brother was pretty proud of me.

We also celebrated the engagement of my brother and my best friend! Or, my best friend and my brother. No, my brother and future sister-in-law...

We celebrated an engagement!!

Love you :)

Oh! And moving. We did a bit of that.

And decorating. We didn't do very much decorating (other than changing our wall hangings to floor hangings, ya know), but we did a little.

And drank our yearly caffeine allowance in coffee.

Joel's grandma embroidered coffee dish towels for us!

So really we haven't been up to much of anything. But we did inherit quite a bit of cheese when we moved.

There's more in the fridge.

And jelly. Lots of jelly.

My brothers and I used to scoff at my mom's hot dog toasties she would make us for dinner 5 times per week (and for lunch 4 days per week).

I hereby promise to never ever, under any circumstance, poke fun at any meal that takes less than 5 minutes to make. Especially if it uses up some of your cheese. And your jelly.

ESPECIALLY when you add a Strawberita to the hot dog toastie.

Mom's Hot Dog Toasties with Joel's roommates cheese, with homemade whole-wheat biscuits, and with everyone's leftover jelly on the leftover whole-wheat biscuits:

Start by mixing up the dough:
Ingredients:
1 cup white flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
4 t baking powder
1 T sugar
3/4 t salt
1/4 cup butter
1 cup buttermilk

Directions:
Combine both flours, baking powder, sugar and salt. Cut in butter with pastry blender until resembling coarse crumbs. Stir in buttermilk until just moistened. Knead 8-10 times.*

*I can guarantee you that you will need to add at least another cup of flour to make it look like this:

Next, prepare the hot dogs. Slice down the middle to create a cheese pocket. Fold cheese into narrow but not too narrow slices to make for a deliciously cheesy dog. Best to let the cheese overtake the dog, even.

FiestaWare knives usually get the job done better. Or so I've found in my whole 3 times of using them.

Then cover those babies with that dough. And bake at 450 for 10-12 minutes.

Oh, and bake them on aluminum foil. #nodishes #trickofthetrade

And all that jelly? Top your biscuits with the sweetness of free condiments.

So that's what we've been up to.

And counting down the days till we're married. That too. :)